Pouring away everything on my mind

I don't know why or how but i don't feel like myself these days.

I've being pushing away everyone who loves me and who i love.

I don't mean to do that but it just happens. I don't know whats bothering me.
I want to make things right but i don't know how
I'm so confused and lost.
I have like so much bottled up on my mind and i don't know how to unbottle
I need help. I  just don't know who would be willing to help a selfish bitch like me. =/
I can't take this anymore and i just wish I'd die. =/
Some say that I'm exaggerating and being emo. I don't wanna be that but i don't knowWhat i i know right now is that i don't know. 
I'm really sorry I'm hurting everyone specially you.I feel so guilty for ruining your life. I'm sorry!
I'm never gonna torture you and ruin your life. I'm never gonna disturb you either.
Enjoy your life! Be happy always. I hope you find the love that you deserve. Goodluck for your future :)

I really hope you don't see this..but just incase you do..please don't feel sympathy towards me. 

Don't let me know you've read it. Just continue living your life I'd really appreciate that. :)